Magazine Day: Gross Edition

One of these times that I say I’m going to manage to regularly do my weekly Magazine Day post, I’m actually going to follow through. I swear. I think it’s been three or four weeks since my last one, but we’ll just pretend I’ve posted every week like I’ve meant to.

Anyway, the biggest theme of this week’s US Weekly for me was: gross. So many gross celebrities. Or celebrities looking or acting gross. It’s the best word I can come up with to describe what I’m seeing.

Snooki is like, the queen of gross, I think. I continue to ignore reality TV, so I can’t claim to know much about Snooki, but I have eyes. I know she’s gross.

So in response to this headline, I would say, “Yes, you are.” I like that I made that guy grosser because the crease of the page is going right down the middle of his face and I didn’t bother to try to smooth it out.

Also gross (I may have mentioned this before, but who cares?), this dude with Jennifer Lopez. Yuck.

I’m sorry, Jessica Simpson. I wish I didn’t need to say you’re gross. I really feel bad about it. But really. I wish she’d managed to keep the coverup thing she’s wearing on. That would help. She’s the pregnant-est celebrity ever. I actually think she might be bigger than I was, and I was really, really big when I was pregnant.

Leann Rimes’s face: gross. And not totally human looking.

Poor Lindsay. I can’t believe her face. I really can’t.

Un-gross items from this week’s magazine:

The Royal Family is the opposite of gross. I love them. Except Pippa. She’s not really royal, right?

My favorite celebrity family, the Affleck-Garners, welcomed a baby boy. With a very normal name. They’re just like us! Two girls followed by a boy. Let’s be friends.

We’re for this, if anyone’s wondering. Edward deserves better than mean Bella, so he should go for Katy Perry.

I just think this is funny because, um, what’s wrong with her not speaking to Ryan Reynolds now? They’re not married anymore. So? Hunger Games fans: Jenny says Scarlett Johansson reminds her of Johanna. I can see that.

I’m only including this to say that I really don’t think it looks like Taylor Swift at all. And why would drinking so much water make her friends say she’s an alien? Jenny says it’s because of the way her collarbone sticks out.

Is it just me or does the perspective on this page make it Emma Watson look like a giant? She may be taller than some of them, but I thought Cameron Diaz was tall. It’s just weird.

In other magazine news this weekend, check out the Entertainment Weekly cover:

Who’s excited about the return of Mad Men? I am!

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